Hold Me
by MyImmortal329
Summary: After saving Michaela from the Dog Soldiers, Sully cares for her before setting out for Colorado Springs. Michaela makes an important decision regarding her relationship with Sully.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman. The rights to those characters and to the show belong to the creators of the show, to CBS, The Sullivan Company and to A&E. This is a rewrite of the scene from "The Abduction Part 2." I have used dialog from the scripts, and the dialog from the episode does not belong to me..however, any extra dialog was created by me. **

Author's Note: This story contains graphic sex depicted between two consenting, UNMARRIED adults. If that offends you, turn away now.

HOLD ME

The walls of the cave seemed to be a bit of a comfort to Michaela, who was finally resting peacefully after her previous encounter with the Dog Soldiers. Sully, however, couldn't sleep. He hadn't slept in days, and now that he had Michaela back in his presence, he didn't ever want to shut his eyes again. He didn't want to lose her, and every time he turned his back to her, he felt a little guilty. She'd been through so much, and the last thing he wanted to do was make her feel lonely.

It was around dusk when Sully stood from his place at Michaela's side. She was still resting on the pine branches, which he had laid out for her when they decided to seek shelter there until the night. She had been too tired to eat and had fallen asleep when Sully put her down. Sully had only left Michaela's side in the middle of the afternoon to gather honeycomb and berries nearby. He had kept Wolf at Michaela's side so she wouldn't have to wake and worry that Sully had been taken away. Wolf would have followed after his master if the Dog Soldiers had found him and taken him off as a captive. Michaela knew that.

Sully couldn't believe that he finally had his heartsong back. Honestly, he had started to give up hope of ever getting her back safely. But now that she was here, he could see for himself that she was alright, physically at least. He could only imagine the emotional impact the abduction had had on her. He had no idea what she'd been through yet, but he was sure Michaela would tell him in time.

As he stood, looking for any sign of the Dog Soldiers advancing on them, he heard Michaela stir in her sleep. She sat up and examined her surroundings, panicking at first, because she worried that the Dog Soldiers still had her. But, once she saw Sully's bronze form standing in the last rays of the sun, she knew she was safe from harm.

Sully turned at her voice.

"I'm here," he replied slowly, walking over to her, hoping that she wouldn't pull away from him. He watched her expression turn from worried to one of relief. She situated herself on the bed of pine branches, which was surprisingly soft. Her arm stretched out and reached for Sully's hand. He took it and sat down at her side. The look in Michaela's eyes showed that she needed him to hold her, to kiss her, and to tell her that she was never going to have to go through that again. Sully's eyes stayed on hers. "You're safe." Michaela wanted to kiss him; to give herself to him despite all she had been taught in the past. The way Sully cared for her was what mattered the most to her at this very moment. He was so gentle, tender, and patient.

Her hand moved to his face, and she leaned in to kiss him, but he had other plans. He didn't want her to feel as though he was taking advantage of her vulnerable state. Instead, he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it while her hand lingered on his face for a moment. When he pulled his lips away from her soft skin, he looked into her eyes to see tears of all emotion sparkling and threatening to fall. Her lips were trembling, and she was still leaning in, wanting him to kiss away her fear.

Sully wanted more than anything to be able to kiss that fear and those memories away forever. He wanted to make her his in every sense of the word, but they weren't even promised to each other. From what he understood, Michaela had been brought up in a world where 'living in sin' was the last thing people wanted to think about.

"You're safe," he simply repeated, knowing that he could easily lose control and kiss her in the way he wanted to kiss her; touch her in the way they both wanted him to touch her.

Michaela knew what he was thinking, and she gave him a slight understanding smile. Her hands found his, and she held them firmly. Their eyes locked again, and both wanted to promise themselves to each other for the rest of their lives. They wanted to live for the moment and not worry about any of the consequences. Michaela was frightened of her own thoughts and what Sully would think of her for having them. Sully was afraid that Michaela wasn't thinking clearly and would be frightened of his own thoughts. Sully looked away and pulled up the small platter of honeycomb and berries he had gathered for her.

"I found some berries and honeycomb while you were sleepin'. It's gonna be dark soon. If we go then, we'll be in Colorado Springs sometime tomorrow." He looked at her, and the look upon her face was one full of gratitude and exhaustion.

"I can't walk," she stated plainly. She looked back up at him. After all they had been through, she wondered for only a moment whether or not he wanted to just leave her there. She had put him through so much in the past few months. Their relationship had ended terribly, and their friendship had been awkward for a little while. However, her anger at him over Catherine wasn't even there anymore. She knew that he hadn't loved that woman, and she felt silly for even believing that he did. She knew he still loved her, and she loved him more now than she ever did.

Sully looked down at her bruised, scabbed and bloody feet. "That's alright. I'll carry you." He tenderly picked her feet up into his lap, and she grimaced at the feeling of her throbbing feet. Sully felt a knot tighten in his stomach. He couldn't believe those men. They were men he had once been friends with, and they had taken his heartsong; made her walk over ragged rocks with no shoes and had possibly violated her. Oh God. What if they had raped her? The thought came as a crushing blow to Sully's spirit.

He gently dabbed at her cuts and bruises with a damp cloth. She winced and bit back the pain as he gave her feet tender care. The sound of her gasping made Sully feel even worse. He grew even more curious. He had to know.

"Did they hurt you?" he asked, hoping to God that her answer wouldn't be what he was expecting it to be. She knew he was expecting her to say they had, and she didn't want him to think those bad things. She didn't want him to have to pity her while thinking the worst had happened.

"No," she whispered. Sully looked back at her quickly. He honestly hadn't expected her to say those words. The way she was looking at him told him that she was being sincere. The love in her eyes was beginning to shine past the tears and the scratches on her cheek. Sully wanted to kiss her, because she looked as if she could use those kisses to wash away the hurt. He swallowed hard and looked down at the platter of food that was still untouched.

"You better eat somethin'." She blinked the tears away and scooped some honey onto her fingers. She tenderly sucked the soft, gooey substance off of her fingers, savoring the sweet taste. She looked up at Sully with her big, beautiful, bright eyes. She was silently crying out for him to hold her. Sully couldn't take it anymore. He needed her as much as she needed him.

He leaned in and his lips gently brushed against hers. The rough stubble on his chin brushed against her chin as his tongue found hers. He tasted the sticky sweet honey from her lips, and she leaned into him, needing more from him. He couldn't let it go any further. When he pulled away, her eyes thanked him for knowing when to stop, but a tear fell down her cheek.

"Hold me," she whispered. Sully pulled her into his arms and began to rock her. Her hands caressed his back and his chest, his face and his arms. Her fingers were still slightly sticky from the honey, but Sully didn't mind. Cradling her in his arms made the both of them feel safe and secure. After what seemed like half an hour, Michaela finally spoke up again. "How did you find me?" Sully sighed heavily and breathed in the scent of her hair. After all that she had been through, he could still smell the intoxicating scent of the fancy soaps she used.

"I found another tribe of Indians," he pointed out. "They let the Dog Soldiers stay with them."

"How did you convince them to tell you where they headed?" Sully swallowed hard and pulled Michaela closer if it was possible.

"I told them you . . . you're my heartsong." Michaela looked up and found Sully gazing into her eyes. She leaned up to press another kiss to his lips. Hearing those words had helped her to make up her mind. Suddenly, she didn't care about the rules of society. She didn't care about propriety. All she cared about was that she was finally in the arms of the man she loved. 'Living in sin' seemed to sound wrong. How could loving someone with every part of one's being be a sin?

"I'm sorry," she whispered, tears stinging her cheeks as they fell from her eyes.

"Sorry?"

"I'm sorry I ever doubted you."

"I swore I'd find you, but I gotta admit that I was startin' to doubt myself."

"Not that," Michaela replied, shaking her head. "About Catherine. I know you didn't love her. I'm so sorry I doubted you."

"That don't matter, Michaela. That's the past."

"I'm still sorry."

"So am I." He kissed the top of her head. Michaela pulled away slightly. She ran her sticky fingers across the tree bark, collecting more honey onto her fingers. She held her fingers to Sully's lips, and he couldn't resist her offering. He took her hand in his and lightly sucked the soft substance off of her fingers. She pulled her hand away and replaced it with her lips. A moment later, Sully gently pushed her shoulders back and broke their kiss. His heart and his mind were fighting what seemed to be a never-ending battle.

"Sully?" Her eyes searched his.

"We best get ready to head into town. Our clothes are dry." He started to move, but Michaela's hands grabbed his.

"Sully," she whispered. "Don't leave."

"I'm not leavin'. I'm just getting ready."

"Don't leave me now. I need to be with you." Sully knew exactly what Michaela meant by that. He couldn't let her do something she was going to regret. He knew it wasn't what she believed in, and besides, they weren't even sure they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. Well, technically they were both sure of it, but they hadn't dared to speak it out loud yet.

"Michaela, you best get some rest before we head back into town." Sully turned from her, and it nearly killed him to do so. Michaela felt the tears begin to fall again. Had they really ever stopped?

"Sully, don't you want to be with me?" Sully turned back to her and searched her eyes with his.

"Of course I want to be with you," he whispered. "But you ain't thinkin' clearly. You don't want to do this."

"I do," she cried. "Sully, One Eye tried to rape me." She choked those words out to the best of her ability, re-living the horrible moment over and over again in her thoughts. "But you got to me just in time. I've realized that you're the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I love you."

"I love you," he replied. Looking into her eyes made his heart pound faster. He knew now what he was destined to do with the rest of his life. He was supposed to spend it with Michaela. He had known for a long time, but he realized, once the Dog Soldiers had taken Michaela, that he never wanted to lose her again. He wanted to spend forever with her. He took Michaela's hands in his and kissed her sore, scraped knuckles. Michaela watched him with such adoration in her eyes as he looked up at her. Tears brimmed in his eyes, and his hands went to cup Michaela's beautiful face. "I never want to lose you again, Michaela. Being apart from you was the worst thing that has happened to me in a long time. I don't ever want to see anyone take you away from me again."

"Sully," Michaela whispered, her hands stroking his arms.

"Will you marry me?" Michaela's heart skipped a beat, but she knew what her answer was.

"Yes," she whispered. "I will marry you." Sully pulled her into a smoldering kiss. He didn't want to let her go, and his arms held her so closely that Michaela wasn't sure if he would ever let her go. But she didn't want him to let go. She wanted him to hold her until the end of time. When he finally did loosen his embrace and let her go, he smiled and kissed the tender scratches on Michaela's cheek.

"I don't want ya to ever feel pain again."

"I won't as long as I'm with you." She took a deep breath, and her hands moved to rest on his bare chest. "Sully, those men could have killed me. One Eye would have probably had his way with me first, but I'm certain he was determined to kill me. I came so close to leaving this world without letting you know how much you mean to me. You have been my rock, Sully."

"You're the strongest woman I know, Michaela. You don't need a rock."

"You once told me that there's no shame in letting people help me. You have helped me in so many ways. I want to tell you that you are the only man who has ever been able to make me feel the way I feel when I'm with you. I don't feel like I can express this in many more words. But I love you more than I have ever loved anyone in my entire life. Sully, I don't care about anything right now except for giving you the one thing I can give only one man." Sully drew back. He couldn't let her do this, because he was sure she would regret it later.

"No, Michaela." A sorrowful fear crept into Michaela's eyes, and she grew frightened of the prospect of losing him forever.

"You don't . . ."

"Michaela, the way I feel when I'm with you is so scary sometimes, because I know that I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone. But we can't do this. Not like this."

"Why not?"

"Because you're going to regret it. You're not thinkin' right."

"I've never thought more clearly in my entire life," she pointed out. "I need you." Sully watched as Michaela's lower lip began to tremble. She was shaking with fright, and the memories of what One Eye nearly did to her were flashing back. Sully couldn't take watching her like this much longer. He hated to see her so fearful and helpless. The Michaela he knew was strong, brave, and for the most part, independent. Her beauty was shining past her tears, however, and Sully knew that Michaela was serious. He had wanted her; longed for her touch for so long, and now she was offering herself to him with no questions asked. He wanted to give himself to her, but he still feared that she ultimately regret it and hate him for not being strong and stopping her. Looking at her made his knees grow weak and his heart pound harder and faster. It was growing harder and harder to resist her.

Somehow, Michaela knew what he was thinking.

"I won't leave, Sully. I'll always be by your side," she assured him, kissing his neck softly. Her touch sent sparks to every part of his body, and he closed his eyes while her tongue tasted his skin.

"Michaela, if ya keep doin' that, I ain't gonna be able to stop it." She heard his words, but she didn't make any motion to stop her actions. Her hands moved down Sully's chest and around to his back. "You gotta let me know that you really want to do this," he whispered into her ear as he began to kiss her neck with the same tender kindness that Michaela was showing to him. She pulled away from him a little and looked into his eyes.

"I want this, Sully," she whispered. "Please hold me." Sully decided that Michaela was adamant about this, and he pulled her into his arms, kissing her like he had never kissed her before. His tongue explored her mouth, and she reciprocated. Her hands moved to rest on Sully's shoulders, and then they proceeded to run up into his hair. Sully's hand began to fumble with the buttons on her undershirt. He couldn't believe Michaela was letting him touch her like this; that she wanted him to touch her. "Sully," she moaned as one of his hands slipped up to caress the skin on the side of her breast. His thumb ran over her nipple, sending chills up and down her spine. Nobody had ever touched her in this way, and she wanted more of it. She needed him to touch her, to make her feel alive again.

Sully's hands tugged at the white undershirt. Michaela raised her arms above her head so Sully could easily slide it off of her. The cool air hit her and Sully pressed her bare breasts against his chest to shield her from the wind. The feeling of her naked skin against his own made his arousal begin to grow. Michaela could feel him as she sat on his lap. She moaned as Sully's kisses moved from her lips down to her collarbone. His hand moved down to graze against her pantaloon-covered thigh. His fingers moved up to touch her through the fabric of her undergarments. She gasped from the feeling of his hand touching her where she needed him the most.

"Are you sure about this?" Sully asked as he laid his beautiful heartsong down into the soft pine branches.

"I've never been more sure of anything. This is what's right, Sully. We know in our hearts that this is what we both need and want." Sully's eyes roamed over her beautiful features and down to her perfect porcelain white breasts. His mouth found the center of her cleavage before he took one of her nipples into his mouth, bringing Michaela more pleasure than she had ever thought was possible.

Sully quickly moved his hands to her hips and rid her of her britches. Her naked body lay before him, and he couldn't believe this was happening. Michaela's body was even more beautiful than he had imagined in his dreams every night. Now his dream was becoming a reality, and she was here, waiting for him, softly moaning his name. Michaela sat up, feeling no more pain in her joints, only desire for the man she loved more than life itself. Her fingers went to work with the button that held his pants up. Sully's hands touched Michaela's with a patient nature. He stood and stepped out of his pants, revealing himself in full to the woman he was about to become one with. He saw nervousness appear in her eyes, and he sat down beside her trembling form on the pine branches. He took her hands in his and kissed the scraped knuckles gently.

"We don't gotta do this if you ain't ready. We can wait 'til we're married. We can just hold each other. I don't want to hurt you."

"You won't hurt me. I trust you, Sully."

"I'm not sure if I trust myself," he admitted. Michaela's hands moved to touch him, but he jerked away.

"Sully?"

"Not yet," he whispered. He was trembling as well, and Michaela wasn't sure what was wrong. "Michaela, this is your last chance to back away. If we start this, I ain't sure I'll be able to stop." He expected her to come to her senses, but when he looked into her eyes, he saw that she had never left them. She was really suggesting that they continue.

"I don't want to back away. Never," she replied. "I want to make love with you." Hearing those final words gave Sully what he needed to be sure that Michaela was his forever. He leaned in and pressed a tender but passionate kiss to her lips. She leaned back onto the branches again. Her naked body trembled from nerves, but she knew that what she was fearing the most was the unknown.

She spread her legs a little, and Sully climbed between them, holding himself up by pressing his hands firmly onto the ground on either side of Michaela. He was gently pushing at her entrance, and he could feel her whole body trembling. Her eyes closed, waiting for his penetration, but it never came.

"Don't be afraid," he whispered. "I'll never hurt you." Michaela's eyes opened, her heart filling with trust and love. She smiled, and the tears began to fall. He knew that prolonging this first time would make it a lot less comfortable for her. He pressed his mouth to hers, nibbling and licking at her lips. As her hands moved to his back, he entered her in one swift movement, entrenching himself inside of her for the first time. Michaela gasped and moaned into Sully's mouth at this completely new feeling. She felt a little pain for a few moments, but when she looked into Sully's eyes, it was forgotten, and she couldn't think of any other place she would rather be.

Sully's body was now covered in a thick coating of sweat. It had been years since he had made love to anyone, and making love to Michaela was already better than anything he had ever experienced in his entire life. He let her adjust to the new feeling before he began to move within her, making her feel more alive than she had ever felt. Her face seemed to brighten as her breathing quickened from passion.

"Sully," she moaned as Sully's lips captured her own. His hands joined with hers as his knees kept him grounded. Michaela began to move her hips to meet his thrusts in the timeless dance of love. The way she moved against him made him feel as they were one body.

"Michaela," he whispered as he kissed every part of her beautiful face. Her hair was scattered behind her and framing her face. The passion was growing by the moment, and Michaela felt new heights of pleasure that she never knew existed. As Sully continued to make love to her, she wished she could bring him more pleasure. Her legs moved to wrap around him, thus pulling him deeper inside of her. Both gasped as the pleasure became too much.

Both reached their pinnacle at the same time, and they soon collapsed into each other's arms. Sully's body became heavy on top of Michaela's, so he quickly moved off of her and pulled her into his arms. Her head rested against his chest as she gasped and forced air into her lungs. Sully closed his eyes, coming down from his natural high, and he wasn't quite sure if he was dreaming or not. But when he heard Michaela's voice a few minutes later, he knew that what had just happened was very real.

"Sully?"

"Hmm?" he asked as he held her against his body, trying to keep her warm from the wind.

"Don't leave me," she whispered. The events of the past few days finally caught up to Michaela, and the encounter they just had together lulled her into a deep sleep.

"Never," Sully breathed as he pulled their clothes over their entangled bodies to use as a blanket to keep the cold away. "Never."

* * *

Sully woke a few hours later, and Michaela was still lying in his arms. He knew they couldn't build a fire in case the Dog Soldiers were around. He didn't want to move her, but he had to get up and stretch his legs. He knew there was a small lake nearby where he could get some water. He was thirsty, and Michaela was bound to be as well.

The platter of honeycomb and berries was sitting aside, and Sully knew that Michaela would have to wake soon and eat them to keep her strength up. He gently kissed her lips as she slept and pulled himself away from her. He tucked the articles of clothing around her to keep her warm while he went to find water. He pulled his pants on and started down the stream with a canteen.

As he was starting to walk away, Michaela woke, sensing that she was alone.

"Sully!" she called out. Sully rushed back to her in the darkness.

"I'm right here," he assured her. He held Michaela's hands in his.

"I thought you'd left."

"I promised I'd never leave. I was just goin' to get some water."

"There's water around?"

"Yeah. There's a lake nearby."

"Take me there?" Michaela asked.

"What?"

"I'd like to have a bath. I just feel so dirty," she said softly, tears beginning to fall. Sully's heart fell, and he swallowed the lump in his throat. She suddenly realized how that must have sounded.

"Because of what we just –"

"No," Michaela replied quickly. "I won't regret what happened between us. We love each other, Sully, and that's what matters. We'll be married, and nobody but us has to know about this except for us. It's our secret." Sully kissed her hand.

"I don't regret it either, just so you know." Michaela smiled and leaned in to give him a kiss. When she pulled away, Sully wiped her tears away.

"I feel dirty, because I've been dragged in every direction. My feet ache, and I just need to relax."

"Alright. I'll carry you down." Michaela nodded in appreciation. She wrapped her arms around Sully's neck. He stood with her naked body in his arms. He knew nobody was around this time of night. There was no sign of the Dog Soldiers, so there was no chance that Michaela would be spotted. He did pick up their clothes and carry them with him, however. He wanted to get started back to town before morning. "I'll gather more honeycomb and berries while you take a bath."

"Alright," Michaela replied with a nod. After a good ten-minute walk, Sully came to the banks of the water. He knelt by the edge and sat Michaela down into it so she wouldn't have to stand on her feet. She swam out a little way in order to envelop her body within the water. Sully walked away to gather honeycomb and berries, while Michaela dunked herself under the water.

A night ago, Michaela would have seriously considered letting herself drown in order to escape the Dog Soldiers. But now she had something to live for. Sully had taken something from her, but it was something she wanted him to have. She would always have that special night with Sully, and she couldn't wait to share the rest of her life with him. Sure, what they had just done was something people were supposed to experience for the first time on their wedding night, according to the code she had always lived by. But, it didn't matter. They were already promised to each other and knew that there was nothing that would break them apart. Why were they supposed to deny themselves the pleasure of the other's company when they knew that they had the rest of their lives together?

Sully returned quickly, because he knew the temperature was dropping, and he didn't want Michaela to get too cold. She'd already been through quite enough!

"We best start back," Sully warned, pulling his shirt on. "Custer's bloodthirsty, so we shouldn't wait too long. We should be able to make it in plenty of time, but I want to be sure. I wouldn't put anything past him. If he has any reason to believe ya ain't comin' back, Cloud Dancin' and all the others will be dead 'fore we have a chance to safe 'em." Michaela sighed sadly and nodded slowly, running her fingers through her long, wet strands of hair. She didn't want this night to end, but she knew it was time for the romance to end for a little while. She and Sully had friends to save, and they weren't going to help them any by obeying the urges that they were both feeling so strongly.

She started out of the water and felt the pain in her battered feet. "Here. Let me help ya." Sully helped her with her underclothes and then with her torn skirt and top. When he was finished helping her dress, his hand rested against her lily-white cheek. "You're so beautiful."

"Thank you for saving me," she whispered. "Thank you for everything." Sully leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips under the light of the full moon. He scooped her up into his arms and started off in the direction that home was in. Home. Sully never considered Colorado Springs his home, but now that Michaela was promised to him, he was going to have a reason to stay for the rest of his life.

* * *

Luckily, they had arrived back in Colorado Springs in the nick of time. Custer was determined to execute the Indians anyway, but Sully stopped the hanging, and Custer agreed to free all of his prisoners . . . well, with a bit of physical intervention on Sully's part. Michael and Sully had had to deliver the news that Cloud Dancing's son was dead. They also had had to tell him that One Eye had been killed. When morning had arrived, they were ambushed on a cliff, and One Eye ended up falling to his death. After the events of the last few days, Michaela was glad to be back home in Colorado Springs.

Brian had apparently had a business deal with Hank, and now he had a horse out of the deal. While Matthew and Colleen were helping Brian with his new horse Taffy, Michaela looked up at Sully with a shyness in her eyes. She didn't know the words to speak to tell Sully how grateful she was to him, but she could try.

"Sully?" He turned to her. "Thank you for saving me." Sully smiled and leaned in to give her a simple kiss.

"Couldn't miss a birthday, could we?" he asked. Michaela smiled at him and put his arm around her.

"When shall we tell the children about our engagement?"

"Maybe we oughta talk about it first," Sully replied, taking Michaela's hand. He led her over to sit on the porch of the homestead while the children laughed off in the distance.

"You still want to marry me, don't you?" Michaela asked, fearful for a moment that he had changed his mind. Sully gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"'Course I do," he said with a nod. "But what happened between us last night was somethin' that neither of us expected would ever happen."

"I know," Michaela replied. "It was. Perhaps I just felt vulnerable and needed companionship last night, but I was thinking clearly. I meant everything that I said."

"So did I," Sully whispered, kissing her on the cheek. Michaela blushed.

"I think last night was a one-time thing, at least up until the wedding, of course," Michaela explained.

"I think you're right," he whispered. "We don't want nobody talkin', now do we?" Michaela shook her head.

"No, certainly not," she whispered. "Perhaps we should wait a week or so before we tell anyone about the engagement. They may suspect something if we announce it so soon."

"Good thinkin', doctor." Michaela laughed and kissed Sully again. "I wanna stay here tonight."

"What for?"

"To make sure everything's alright. I'll sleep in the barn in case you need me."

"Thank you. Knowing you're around makes me feel better."

"Funny," Sully commented with a twinkle in his eyes. "I was about to say the same thing." Michaela leaned her head on Sully's shoulder, and they spent the rest of the afternoon side-by-side, watching the children play innocently with Brian's new horse. They both had an incredible secret to keep now, and they had formed a bond that could never be broken by anyone or anything. They were both content to know that their secret was safe between them, and they had the rest of their lives with each other to look forward to.

THE END


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